Sad

AAhhh!! I'm feeling really upset and sorrow since the first day I arrived Taipei. Why??!
I thought it will be easy and free to stay alone outside. But the fact has proved me wrong. Its hard! Crying alone before going to bed, missing parents and brothers. Missing my dogs and everything. Missing the lifestyle I have driven for 23 years. Why should I make this decision?? Why shouldn't I just stay home?? Why shouldn't I just take my degree in Malaysia?? Why am I making myself so suffering?!

I'm regretting... Missing home every night. Wanted to go home just to stay beside my parents. I hate this kind of life in Taipei here! I really meant it. I do not blame to God. I'm just blaming myself for making a decision without thinking the effects that will drive myself to a vary corner.

Mommy, Daddy... I really hoping myself can be tougher and stronger. I will try...
I swear to God and myself. I will not going to leave home after these is over. Enough studying, enough being so stubborn. I swear, I swear!!!

Lord, please bless me and my family.

焦慮

距離飛臺北日子已近
有點害怕面對事實 也沒勇氣去倒數
這整個八月 都把時間安排得緊湊
希望能利用這些日子 再多見朋友知己
去唱K 生日會 歡送會 晚餐 電影 逛街 喝茶
全部都一個不漏的實行
好好珍惜享受與家人與朋友團聚時刻

前天才正式開始收拾衣物
買了好幾個真空袋 嘗試將所有能塞的都盡量填滿
好多物品都想帶過去 如果當下有小叮噹就好了
直接把整個房間給搬過去 （幻想中~~)

媽叮嚀我把蠶絲被帶過去 說這被兒冬暖夏涼
可我一直以來蓋的是老媽子好久以前為我縫製的百褶被 （多塊碎布縫製而成的被）
所以就乾脆把百褶被帶過去
到哪裏沒能看見媽子 但至少還能感受到那份溫暖

在收拾行李當下 心里莫感百般交集
帶點興奮 又藏點傷感
興奮 — 讓自己踏出去 獨立生活在陌生的國度 有股探險的刺激感
傷感 — 離開23年堅固的保護層 家人的安樂窩 又要重新建立社會圈子

早就已經預計自己會失眠
每每腦筋夜深人靜時才開始操作
眼睛怎麽緊閉都沒辦法入睡

神呐，讓我好好墮入夢鄉
面對另一天的挑戰

A personality quiz

Just complete a quiz. Not sure whether its trust-worthy or not.
These are the answers I got.

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.


There are too many similarity between us...
This really freaking me out... =P

思考

久違了的部落格

不久前閲讀了朋友I的部落格
想起自己好久以前好像也擁有過
隨著時間流逝，人也逐漸成熟
這幾年來 隨著合唱團 去了不少國家比賽
看見了世界水準與專業精神

直到最近的墨爾本之旅
讓我有機會接觸不同領域的人士
認識搞藝術以外的朋友
好奇心作祟，
很想更了解他是怎樣度過6年在國外的生活
怎麽自己獨立過日子？
閲讀了他的文章后 不知他自己是否發覺
自己已經在不知不覺中克服了一座又一座的高峰


剛剛與朋友D上綫聊天
他問道：“為什麽妳會成爲基督徒？因爲在我這感情創傷的時期，朋友一直鼓勵我去教堂。”
我回答：“我的故事很長，要我說可能一天一夜講不盡。”

因鋼琴老師的關係 我從很小已經接觸主
5嵗的我直到小學了
每星期日去教堂 就知道可以見很多朋友
然後奉獻 偶爾上臺表演下

幾年前，遇見了我小學五與六年級班機主任 湯愛香老師
(因音樂課和周會時都是我在鋼琴伴奏 所以備受愛戴）
幾經了解近況后 她問道：“妳是Christian嗎？”
我回答：“是的，我剛信主了!"
她的臉上挂著笑容說：“還記得嗎，妳以前小的時候說，我長大后一定要成爲基督徒。”
我心裏想：我真的有說過嗎？
朋友告訴我說：“在你還沒信主前，主會派來天使，直到你醒覺。”
聼后，我回想，我這23年裏，真的遇見了好多天使
原來主很早已經知道我會去到祂的身邊
起初信主時 害怕父母反對
但後來他們也大方地 沒阻止

影響深刻，
有一天，在旅遊巴士上
朋友C問我：“最近有沒有讀聖經啊？”
我很誠實的回答：“很少，偶爾翻閲下”
她說：“要養成習慣，閲讀聖經就等於神再跟妳説話。那妳家人呢？”
當我聽到家人這兩個字
眼淚已不自覺的留了下來
我回答說：“我沒能力讓家人也一起信主。。。”
原想繼續說 “這就是我信主后，唯一遺憾的事。。。”
但已經哭得沒辦法再接下去。
接下來的話平息了我的淚水
朋友安慰我說：“隨著妳信主，你家人也會得到上帝的恩典。”
但這些已永遠紋在腦海裏了
跟朋友D聊起這件事時，
正在寫這件事時，
我還是沒辦法壓制淚水與坎坷的心